She was a teenage Zombie

bloodykisses989 @ 2007-08-25T18:14:00

2007-08-25T22:14:16Z

Im home =]
I cant wait to see Justin XD
I miss Monica =[

bloodykisses989 @ 2007-07-19T12:20:00

2007-07-19T16:22:04Z

In a better mood then yesterday
All is good I guess.

bloodykisses989 @ 2007-07-17T14:51:00

2007-07-17T18:56:27Z

So I have been having an amazing time with my loverly boyfriend
Hes the best and I really love just hanging out with him
The three weeks I'm away are going to be a challenge
Now I need to see Elise and Nicki and Meg and Adrienne
I want to see Annemarie but I dont even know if she is home or with Amanda
So much for her and I having the whole summer cause summer is almost over.
I need a hug lol
And some actual sleep.
I actually have to go write this thing about hate now so if its good I will post it

bloodykisses989 @ 2007-05-16T17:16:00

2007-05-16T21:17:25Z

HORRAYYY FOR THUNDER AND LIGHTENING STORMS!!!!!!
umm and Boooo! for nightmares and idiots!!!
HAAHAHA ELISE IS GONNA GET YOU!!!! *smiles so big it hurts my face*

bloodykisses989 @ 2007-03-22T15:42:00

2007-03-22T19:43:45Z

I.......... Love my Boyfriend ............Alot <333333

bloodykisses989 @ 2007-03-19T06:25:00

2007-03-19T10:32:39Z

okay so yesterday as you all know I was sick =[ But my loving amazing boyfriend came over anyway. He made me feel ALL better hahaha well no but I liked being with him while I was sick. All we did was watch Tv and cuddle and talk and It was fun. But I always have fun when Im with him. =] I cant wait till this comming weekend when I get to see him again!!! hahaha and he gets to meet Elise .........this should be interesting. All in all yesterday = amazing for me being sick and
I Love You Justin!!! ALOT ALOT ALOT =]

bloodykisses989 @ 2007-03-18T08:03:00

2007-03-18T12:08:39Z

Sick ........yay for waking up at 4 in the morning and throwing up!!! Yay for having a fever and convulsing from the cold. Yay for not being able to sleep after and to wake up the next morning feeling like crap. I hate being sick...........it makes you feel gross and icky and it ruins plans. Stupid ammune system!! Can't you work for once?!?!?!?!?! Ughh not in a good mood either. Yesterday was fun tho.........sucks rob and sarah couldnt get into the movies........I love my boyfriend very much and it sucks he lives so far away but I'm glad I got to see him yesterday=] it made me happy!! hahah he makes me happy!!!

I hate everything about you!!!!

2007-03-15T00:47:11Z

That heading is dedicated to Nick Melita.......stupid boy! Do I look like a punching bag too you?!?!?!?!?!?!! Do I?!?!?!?! whats up with all these guys thinking they can get away with hitting me???? AHGJAJAFJSKFJADS. I'm sick of being punched the stomach or slapped across the face! I DONT ENJOY BEING BEAT UP SO WHY DO GUYS DO IT TO ME? Am I that bad of a person that I freakin deserved to be hit or made to feel like crap? What did I do thats so wrong that I need to be hit constantly. I cannot get away from the abuse lately. It happens to me verbally, physically, and emotionally. Every day. I'm sick of it. Im done with it. I'm seriously about to go lock myself away in my room and never come out cause if I can't do anything right (like my oh-so-loving fathers says) then there is no point to live in the world right? ( and no im not gonna go kill myself).

You're busy living now aren't you?

2007-03-09T11:54:41Z

Last night sucked.................I actually cried myself to sleep I have no idea why. I just did and it was the first time I cried in a long time. Theres really not that much to say about it cause I dont feel like talking about it I just had to get it out. Yes I have feelings to and Yes I do cry.

Once more I'll say good-bye to you

2007-03-07T23:56:24Z

Today is just one of those days where you just want to break down and cry. Everything is over whelming and I'm either gonna punch some one in the face or cry. So I cry cause I cant punch someone. I miss elise alot a real freaking lot. I dont want to be in this wedding anymore. I dont want to be tan and wear my hair up and wear this light pastel purple dress. I dont want to. But I will cause it means a lot to Michelle. I can't solve everyones problems. I can barely deal with my own. grrr I just broke something...yay me. When everything seems to go right. I always mess up with a wrong. And today is just a horriblie day. I make the mistake of not reading directions on a quiz, I have Religious school tonight, my parents hate me and so do my friends. Yay lets all clap for Jen for being the worst person ever. Yay me Yay me Yay me!! *rolls eyes* I'm disgusting myself. I am going to get away from Stupid Stratford this weekend. I'll go to trumbull and shop with my cousin and by monday I will be all better. I hope. Sorry Doille for messing things up again but you said you didnt think you could chill anyway so no harm done right? Elise I will still be there for you for your Semi-Formal to get everything ready and make you look beautiful. Okay tell me why I feel an obligation to help someone who has made the past (almost year) of my life living hell and making me feel like some sex toy he could just throw around when ever he wanted? Why do I help him? Someone please answer me!!! *SCREAMS then breaks down and cries* I dont want to do this anymore

And now it seems that I have found nothing at all

2007-03-06T02:29:30Z

First off I'd like to start this entry off with an I MISS ELISE . I havent seen her in forever and its just killing me. I miss talking to her about stuff in english, I miss writting stupid lyrics with her during science, being confused about math homework together, watching her laugh as I challanged mrs. Simion about the Catholic Religion and how suicide is not a sin, and writting notes to each other even when mrs A would yell at us. I just miss going to the same school with her. I was so much fun and we would get away with everything. Well I would do more of the risk taking stuff like wear waterproof eyeliner so it wouldnt come off she would always get a kick out of it and die from laughter when I would challanged any teacher. I loved how we could spend all science class fucking around writting lyrics and laughing and not gettin in trouble for it and then Ace the class and watch mrs R give us that "How is that fuckin possible?" look. I miss seeing her for 6 or more hours of my day. And I know that sounds like I'm obessed with her ( im not in a lesbo way) I just love having her around. She gets me and knows me and its just like gahh I love her we always feel the same thing at the same time and we never talk about people and I just have fun when I'm with her. (not that I dont have fun with anyone else I just havent seen her in soo long.) So thats really been bothering me today about how much I miss her and Then there is just your standard high school drama that never fails to find its way to me. Funny thing is right now I dont really care. It will all be over with and what not so its just like whatever. I just want to know who stands where in certin situations. Erghh whatever. I'm also really worried about other people. GRR Can I turn off my brain??

bloodykisses989 @ 2007-03-05T07:03:00

2007-03-05T12:04:46Z

AHH I'm mad and sad at the same time. I had the worst dream ever last night and didnt get much sleep grr school is gonna be a pain I'll post more later

What the Fuck are we looking for?

2007-03-02T02:40:55Z

Umm today was a pretty good day. Better then I expected. I'm still kinda pissed off and theres nothing I can do about it so I'll just sit here and bite my tongue. I'm getting annoyed with all the drama and all the she said he said stuff....only so much someone can take before it wears them out. I'm beyond worn out physically, mentally, and emotionally. I'm just so tired of everything and I'm actually physically feeling it. Like I'm actually tired its really weird. I could really use a starbucks cause I have a head ache yet I'm sitting here typing to no one. No one but me. This is really stupid I'm actually sitting here typing my feelings out. Who really gives a fuck how I feel? Stupid live journal! Like elise said its stupid. Yet something makes me want to keep posting because its good to get things out It really is but in a way It doesnt help because once its out on the comp it not like the computer is gonna tell you what to make of it. I guess its just one of those self help things in a way. Write it down and think about it while your writting. I wrote some lyrics today in school I dont feel like posting them because they need a few corrections. *sigh* lately I just cant seem to do things right.......

I hate you all your mom's a whore

2007-03-01T12:18:16Z

Shit. I woke up in a pissed off mood and thats never ever good. God help the person that sets me off in school. Idk what is gonna happen to them. And God help Nicki she's gonna get an ear full in 4th!! err sorry love!!! I cant find my I pod charger which is making me more pissed off and idk how to day is gonna go............sigh........... whatever

These are the words you wish you wrote down.

2007-02-28T12:19:40Z

Um yesterday was otay i guess it was kinda all over the place good at some points, bad at others and some times just plain crazy. I miss elise alot like a lot a lot. I wanted to see her yesterday but idk what happend to that and its okay I just miss my loverly =(. Hehehe im about to drag her ass out of LH and into BH just so I can see her 6 hours a day. Same goes to you Justin but out of DH. errghh I dont like it when I cant see or be with the people that make me happy. I mean yeah I'm with Dollie and Nicki at school but I dont have ANY class with Dollie and only one class with Nicki and all the other classes = crap because there are just stupid people in there. OH YEAH I have Amanda and Lia in my 7th still not good enough!! Im really getting sick of school I want it to end and I'm pissed off that we have CAPT next week and the lovely freshman must go in..........ill post more laterrr oh yeah THANK YOU JUSTIN FOR THE LOVELY PICTURE I LOVE YOU!!!

Cause every star that I see is brighter then the last

2007-02-27T20:21:57Z

Hehehe I' m a verrry happy girl. Justin asked me out on sat. ...........sorry I havent been able to post in a verry long time........anyway it made me verry happy ! Funny how simple things make you have a gooffy smile and everyone knows why your so happy =]. anyway i love it and him alot. Idk hes not like other ppl I dated hes just amazing........Hes all down to earth and stuff and its awsome cause I relate to him really well and I think he understands and gets me almost as much as elise does which is a verry big deal! I really enjoy spending time with him and when we hang out I never want him to leave but he always has to =( ;ladflkadsj anyway he better know I love him Alot!! XD hehehhe Id post more about him but then he may think im just a little creepy =P. Anyway a funny thing happend yesterday I was talking to Tim and out of no where with no warning he pretty much confessed to me that he still liked me. I was like W-T-F. I havent seen him in almost a year so how could he know. I actually got really mad and I wanted to go over there and punch him. but I didnt I was just like Im sorry but no. I kinda told him that he didnt know what he was talking about and it was that he thought I could be a fall back or something............I guess he thinks im not over him.........Lets think I was the one who broke up with him and I was the one who was over him 1 fucking month before I called it off so buddy get a news flash your not that cute or amazing and you are a fucking dick go fucking kill yourself! I hate it when people assume things and they are wrong about it but there is no way you can tell them they arent. And today was interesting I was invited.........nvm almost dragged........ to a party I didnt want to go to Hehehehe I love my friends but some times its just like take a break! they've already be smashed 4x this past weekend its getting stupid and old and I'm tired of the drunk phone calls of "OMG Jen you need to come see this" or whatever else they ramble on about when their drunk. But they are guys and I guess thats what guys do right? well the stupid loser ones anyway........

Lithium dont wanna lock me up inside

2007-02-21T23:44:12Z

Lately I feel a little locked up. I'm really not expressing my feelings towards certin things and its pissing me off. I usually dont hold back. I'm sick of my parents and their stupid rules and I'm sick of worring about everything. So I decided I'm starting over new. I'm changing my clothing to more ripped jeans, more fishnets, more eyeliner, and just more creativity and orginality that says Jen heehehe. Im pretty happy=] and then I'm spending my life on the paino =] maybe me and elise will come up with some acustic/ keyboard stuff. I have no clue. I just love to sing so I figure I'll play the paino too. I could play the guitar as well I know enough about it so idk I just want to do something with music. And I'm cleaning everything out of my room and getting rid of things I dont need. EVERYTHING is getting cleaned out including my attitude. I'm sick of being so freaking upset and angry with my parents. They need to understand somethings so I'm just gonna talk about everything with them. Lately I feel very inspiried and I have no clue what its from.

Wait they dont love you like I love you

2007-02-19T14:42:10Z

umm not really sure how to feel...... Yesterday was fun I hung out with Justin all day and the fucking loser scared the shit out of me during the movie we were watching........*shudders* I hate dolls........ anyway it was fun. He's comming over again today to help me with my research project... should be fun. So my weekend was really good except for one part which was last night. Tim Dowler called me for pot..........I was like what the fuck. My fucking x boyfriend expects me to help him get high?!?!?! and of course I do cause I dont want to have everything start up again. Its just like dude what the hell is wrong with you?????? If he got high good I hope he was high enough to run in front of a fucking car and get hit then killed. If he didnt get high then he's still living with his jackass friends Dan and Greg. Not to be mean but they are the ones that turned him into the monster he is now. They are the ones that made everything not work. Trust me hes not the same person I liked in the begining of 8th grade. Actually he's far from it. And I'm just glad I finally fucking got rid of him. But no leave it to him and fucking call me for pot............ERGGHHHHHH.....Im annoyed with no one but myself as usual. So I shall leave and hope I can be in a better mood for later..............and just to throw this out there I'm sick of being lonely ! I dont know anything any more................

bloodykisses989 @ 2007-02-18T12:22:00

2007-02-18T17:25:25Z

Okay so yesterday was fun..... poor Justin I think my dad freaked him out a bit. Any way Justin met Ariel which was quite suprising hahaha and now they are both comming over Wed to make Christmas cookies!!! hahaha YES I'm weird and a freak but I know it so its all good. Um yeah today should be interesting ..... ehhehehe oh yeah and I miss Dollie and Elise =]

Maybe I could give this another shot or sing about a broken heart

2007-02-17T12:37:12Z

hmm so its verry early in the morning and I have no mother fucking clue why I'm up. Elise is sleeping upstairs and I am just sitting down here typing. I'm extreamly tired and worn out but no I always have to keep being awake and there for people. Its really starting to annoy me. then again so is everything else in life. for the first time I am actually worried about myself. or angry with myself I dont even know. Its just that I've been on the fucking edge so much lately I cant even have a conversation with out getting pissed off. I really cant. well with elise and some other people yes I can but its just everyone else. Even my parents all I want to do is scream and scream until they go away. I want to be alone lately and thats not good. I dont trust myself by myself...........not that I'm gonna go kill myself its just I might set my house on fire or do something insane like that. Im pushing people away and I know it ..........and my night mares are killing me because everyone is just dying and you know what I dont care anymore. Well of course I wake up crying cause I dont want them to die......but some other part of me is like well there gone now so you can be free from them. and its just like NO! what the fuck! I cant do it anymore I just cant.............Like I said I'm NOT gonna go kill myself................I just dont know what to do

Bloody Valentine?!

2007-02-15T14:32:41Z

Um so I still hate Valentines day yeah to those who love it I'm sorry. But anyway My day was good yesterday.......My parents really enjoyed what I did for them and my mommy cried!!!!! heheheh happy tears of course. I'm home from school AGAIN I really need to freaking get well I will post more later

Every star that I see is brighter then the last

2007-02-14T14:39:27Z

okay so basically that quote is for Elise cause she got me started with that song last night! Hahaha baby I love you. oh yeah and Elise as for Quinn not to be mean but umm you Cannot go on a date with him!!!! You've got 3 days to let him down nicely so we will figure something out today! Oh and if you do (which you probably will) then let me know everything and I'll come and crash it. I'll be like "OMG what are you both doing here?!?!" hehhehe so what if he knows it was planned he needs to get a reality check. Okay so today is Valentines day so to everyone who has a valentine Happy Valentine's Day. To those who dont like Dollie Elise Nicki and Zee......Will you guys be MY Valentine ???? hehehehehe I love you all so much I cant just chose one =P hahahha I'm in a good mood to today I am actually really excited about this thing for my parents and I cant wait to see everyone today =] I'll post more later!

We paperclip our hearts together to keep ourselves from falling apart

2007-02-13T22:45:54Z

So The Love of MY Life is sitting right next to me and she says hi!!!! hahahah For those of you who don't know ITs Elise!! We are chilling today hahahhahaha in hopes of snow tomorrow =] anywho Shes helping me get ready for my Valentines day present for my parents =] Oh yeah WE cant wait to MOVE to Maine!!!

Set me free your Heaven's a Lie

2007-02-13T20:14:38Z

HE FUCKING LEFT HER!!! HE MOTHER FUCKING LEFT HER!!! I cant go on........I really really cant. I dont want to even read anymore! ITs just to painful. I'm about to go punch the author in the fucking face. She ruined my perfect escape. mother fucker. So this morning I actually cried. Yes I Jen cried. This may seem stupid but it was over the fact that he left her it was just to unbarable even for me. Errghh well I'm gonna have to finish the book. So I guess this book like set me off or something cause all day I was just really really depressed. And then when my dad picked me up I had a fucking break down in the car. I cried for about 15 min which I never do that. All cause of my stupid mother. Its sad I am trying to do something nice for her and I just get yelled at . Any way I feel like no one really cares about the nice things I do. So I decided that I'm not gonna do nice things anymore. The saying "No good dead goes unpunished." is gonna be something I'm living by. Its not like I want attention for what I'm doing.......I Dont. I just dont want to be yelled and screamed at and feel like Im some worthless peice of shit. Its annoying and uncalled for. Somedays I just wish I had the power to make people feel how I feel. Oh I saw my buddy Frank today. Stupid idiot got himself suspended for punching someone in the face. No offence the kid did deserve it but I mean come on wait till your not in the middle of the hallway. I guess I would have done the same thing tho cause it was pretty affensive and when you lose your temper you lose your temper. he also got kicked out of his step-dads house for calling him a faggot. and now hes living at wooster park. I'm worried about him. *sigh* I guess everything in life just cant be perfect they way they are in books........speaking of books I'm gonna go read mine.

Your just not drunk enough to fuck

2007-02-11T14:44:27Z

erghh not sure how I really feel right now I'm just kinda living. My whole Idea about leaving for a week is gonna actually happen!! yay me!! I talked to my mom about me needing to just get a way and she was like okay I understand. So on Feb. break I'm going to my aunts in trumbull and spending pretty much the whole week there. She's gonna take me shopping in NYC and we are gonna have a day full of spas and stuff. My cousin is gonna be there too but thats okay cause she is like my sister and she and my aunt are the only ones I really would like to be around. So during the day me and my cousin will have the house to ourselves and we will be able to do whatever we want. My aunt is pretty cool like that. So I'm actually excited about it all I finally get what I want yay!! Today Dollie is supposed to come over but Idk if that changed cause shes been with Amanda all weekend. ehh sometimes I feel all left out and shit and I know its not their fault its my parents cause they usually wont let me out but still......its complicated. Anyway I feel kinda bad cause I was a bitch to her and amanda on the phone only cause I had a really bad headache and no I didnt sorry about it...........I will later I guess...............