So I have been having an amazing time with my loverly boyfriend
Hes the best and  I really love just hanging out with him
The three weeks I'm away are going to be a challenge
Now I need to see Elise and Nicki and Meg and Adrienne 
I want to see Annemarie but I dont even know if she is home or with Amanda 
So much for her and I having the whole summer cause summer is almost over. 
I need a hug lol 
And some actual sleep. 
I actually have to go write this thing about hate now so if its good I will post it 

I.......... Love my Boyfriend ............Alot <333333

okay so yesterday as you all know I was sick =[ But my loving amazing boyfriend came over anyway. He made me feel ALL better hahaha well no but I liked being with him while I was sick. All we did was watch Tv and cuddle and talk and It was fun. But I always have fun when Im with him. =] I cant wait till this comming weekend when I get to see him again!!! hahaha and he gets to meet Elise .........this should be interesting. All in all yesterday = amazing for me being sick and 
I Love You Justin!!! ALOT ALOT ALOT =]

Sick ........yay for waking up at 4 in the morning and throwing up!!! Yay for having a fever and convulsing from the cold. Yay for not being able to sleep after and to wake up the next morning feeling like crap. I hate being sick...........it makes you feel gross and icky and it ruins plans. Stupid ammune system!! Can't you work for once?!?!?!?!?! Ughh not in a good mood either. Yesterday was fun tho.........sucks rob and sarah couldnt get into the movies........I love my boyfriend very much and it sucks he lives so far away but I'm glad I got to see him yesterday=] it made me happy!! hahah he makes me happy!!!

That heading is dedicated to Nick Melita.......stupid boy! Do I look like a punching bag too you?!?!?!?!?!?!! Do I?!?!?!?! whats up with all these guys thinking they can get away  with hitting me???? AHGJAJAFJSKFJADS. I'm sick of being punched the stomach or slapped across the face! I DONT ENJOY BEING BEAT UP SO WHY DO GUYS DO IT TO ME? Am I that bad of a person that I freakin deserved to be  hit or made to feel like crap? What did I do thats so wrong that I need to be hit constantly. I cannot get away from the abuse lately. It happens to me verbally, physically, and emotionally. Every day.  I'm sick of it. Im done with it. I'm seriously about to go lock myself away in my room and never come out cause if I can't do anything right (like my oh-so-loving  fathers says) then there is no point to live in the world right? ( and no im not gonna go kill myself).

Last night sucked.................I actually cried myself to sleep  I have no idea why. I just did and it was the first time I cried in a long time. Theres really not that much to say about it cause I dont feel like talking about it I just had to get it out. Yes I have feelings to and Yes I do cry. 

First off I'd like to start this entry off with an I MISS ELISE .  I havent seen her in forever and its just killing me. I miss talking to her about stuff in english, I miss writting stupid lyrics with her during science, being confused about math homework together, watching her laugh as I challanged mrs. Simion about the Catholic Religion and how suicide is not a sin, and writting notes to each other even when mrs A would yell at us. I just miss going to the same school with her. I was so much fun and we would get away with everything. Well I would do more of the risk taking stuff like wear waterproof eyeliner so it wouldnt come off she would always get a kick out of it and die from laughter when I would challanged any teacher. I loved how we could spend all science class fucking around writting lyrics and laughing and not gettin in trouble for it and then Ace the class and watch mrs R give us that "How is that fuckin possible?" look. I miss seeing her for 6 or more hours of my day. And I know that sounds like I'm obessed with her ( im not in a lesbo way) I just love having her around. She gets me and knows me and its just like gahh I love her we always feel the same thing at the same time and we never talk about people and I just have fun when I'm with her. (not that I dont have fun with anyone else I just havent seen her in soo long.) So thats really been bothering me today about how much I miss her and Then there is just your standard high school drama that never fails to find its way to me. Funny thing is right now I dont really care. It will all be over with and what not so its just like whatever. I just want to know who stands where in certin situations. Erghh whatever. I'm also really worried about other people. GRR Can I turn off my brain??

AHH I'm mad and sad at the same time. I had the worst dream ever last night and didnt get much sleep grr school is gonna be a pain I'll post more later

Lately I feel a little locked up. I'm really not expressing my feelings towards certin things and its pissing me off. I usually dont hold back. I'm sick of my parents and their stupid rules and I'm sick of worring about everything. So I decided I'm starting over new. I'm changing my clothing to more ripped jeans, more fishnets, more eyeliner, and just more creativity and orginality that says Jen heehehe. Im pretty happy=] and then I'm spending my life on the paino =] maybe me and elise will come up with some acustic/ keyboard stuff. I have no clue. I just love to sing so I figure I'll play the paino too. I could play the guitar as well I know enough about it so idk I just want to do something with music. And I'm cleaning everything out of my room and getting rid of things I dont need. EVERYTHING is getting cleaned out including my attitude. I'm sick of being so freaking upset and angry with my parents. They need to understand somethings so I'm just gonna talk about everything with them. Lately I feel very inspiried and I have no clue what its from.